Jesus Fucking Christ

I have not looked at this blog in forever. it's alike and abandoned puppy... that doesn't need food or sleep or anything.



A Random Fact That Is Totally and Absolutely True, Number 13

You shouldn't be reading this right now, as it is the 13th fact posted, and is unlucky. Because you have read this, you will die a horrible age-related death around the age of 60-80.


On Harry Potter

So first and foremost, I would like to apologize for letting my nerd show (despite the fact that I'm not all that obsessed with Harry Potter).

And second, I'd like to credit this video for inspiring me to think about, and then write this post.

So, I've been thinking about the Harry Potter universe. Despite all the glaring problems with it, including the time-turner which could have solved everything and not put hundreds of children at risk of death, there's one I have the biggest problem with.


The "evil" house of Hogwarts is... in fact... just that. There is not a single student who comes out of Slytherin who is a good person. Not one. Go on, think about it, out of all the character introduced throughout the series, name one who was a Slytherin and turned out to be a good guy. You can't? Damn straight you can't. There's not a single fucking one, not one.

And don't say Severus Snape. That's bullshit. I'll explain.

What are the values of the Gryffindor (Good Guys) House? Courage, bravery, loyalty, nerve and chivalry. Snape spent his entire life protecting the memory of the woman he loved, (successfully) infiltrated the camp of the most evil wizard to ever live ever, and did it all to what, sacrifice himself for Harry despite his hatred towards him. If that does not personify every damn virtue in that list I don't know what does.

The fact is, it would have been easier to simply say "Hey look, all the bad guys who are alive are currently huddled defenseless in a specific wing of the castle. Lets fucking kill them." All problems solved. No Voldemort. No Malfoy. No fucking annoying sub-villains who no one cares about.

Moreover, why the hell are they the bad guys anyway? What do they value? Ambition, cunning, leadership and resourcefulness. I mean, fuck, those are all fantastic qualities. In fact, I'd take those over some stupid chivalrous brave fucker any day. Look at resourcefulness: the ability to make shit up on the spot and have it work despite lacking proper tools. That's awesome. You can be as brave as you want, but if you're not smart you're dead.

But really, when you look at it, the bad guys shouldn't have been Slytherin, it should have been fucking Hufflepuff.

I know, I know. How in the world could that make any sense. Those guys are the lamest people on the planet. The only decently good thing they did throughout the entire series was come up with Cedric Diggory, and he died and came back as a sparkly gay vampire.

However, in the first book, when naming off the houses, the sorting hat says something to the extent that Hufflepuff just takes whoever the other houses don't want. Which means all those kids weren't brave enough for Gryffindor, weren't smart enough for Ravenclaw and weren't ambitious enough for Slytherin. They were the absolute losers of Hogwarts. They were the kids that got picked on just because they weren't good enough, and if school shootings have taught us anything, it's that those kids are the dangerous ones, fuck the ones that are actually good at something.

The fact is, Hufflepuff is full of shunned, kicked-around, homicidal teenagers... WHO CAN USE MAGIC. can't forget that. The fact that there wasn't one Hufflepuff who said "Fuck this, you're all dead" and started killing everyone in his class is just amazing. (I would also like to remind everyone that as of right now i do not condone the use of violence to solve one's problems... unless you're an action hero, in which case, go ahead.)

So yea, if the magical wizarding world of Harry Potter were to every exist, I wouldn't worry about those snake kids, i'd worry about the ones with the badgers on their coats (Yes, they're mascot is a badger, as opposed to a snake or raven or griffin. Just adding fuel to the fire).


...But Seriously, Why Do I Even Have A Blog?

I don't really know. I mean, I think of all these good ideas to post, but by the time I get the time to actually do it... I'm so tired from work/school/fighting of the aliens that I just don't write anything. Hell, I don't even know where I've found the energy to write this.

But, I will try on, because... well who knows. I don't write anything that could be remotely considered good, but one day, when the aliens finally come, maybe mine will be one of the remnants used to describe teh race they conquered.

I think I need more sleep.


Of The Unavoidables

Ok, so I got my final w-2 today. Because I'm a good U.S. citizen who wants to get their taxes done as soon as possible, I'm very happy for this. Now, because I like to know, I decided to add my two w-2's together (having worked 2 jobs in 2010). Now, while I certainly didn't make that much money (not even 5 figures) it is probably the most money I've made in any given year, me being 21 and not having held many jobs before that.

However, I decided to take it a step further. Now, I don't know if it's because I'm some sort of sado-masochist, or because somewhere, deep in the recesses of my soul I hate myself, but I decided to find out how much money I lost in taxes.

If you value your sanity, never do this. EVER.

Turns out, around 1/8th (or 12%) or my totally earnings were taken for various reasons. Now, I didn't even make it to the poverty line. Not to mention I had tips-based jobs, so there's a chance I might have to pay even more.

Needless to say upon doing this I came to wish I really hadn't. like really... like it hurts to think about what I could have done with all the extra money I would have had if it weren't for the taxes.

The worst part, I think, is that the vast (and I do mean vast) majority of what was taken out was for social security. SOMETHING I'M TOLD I WILL NEVER, EVER HAVE! Seriously, that is money I will never see again, not even in the "Oh look, the city is building a new park and my tax dollars went to that" way.

I am ready to punch babies. But I won't, because I have to work tonight. because I don't have enough money. irony completed.



Must... Blog... More....

So... little... time...

need... more... useless... internet... stuff....



A Random Fact That Is Totally and Absolutely True, Number 12

The Jesusaurus Rex was the most feared dinosaur of the late Cretaceous Period. It was wiped out when it was forced to evolve into the modern day Jesus due to the flying penguin that killed all the other dinosaurs.


A Triumphant Return

Yea, So, I've managed to get myself together enough to move back to Chicago. I will be returning to Columbia College and starting over where I left off, hopefully without too much difficulty. I'll actually have a job this time, and I'm now much more aware of how the real world functions, and why I can't spend 50 dollars a day on food.

And, in as much, I think I actually gained a work ethic in my time back home, which is weird because I think the last time I had a work ethic was when I thought school was fun.

But anywho, That's really all for now. I have to head up to wrigleyville to visit someone.


A Random Fact That Is Totally And Absolutely True, Number 11

I'm am absolutely terrible at picking playoff football. Really, I am just terrible.


A New Year! (And More Football)

So, We've reached 2011 with minimal damage. I've survived to my 21st birthday, and no one knows about that thing that happened in Reno. I'd say it was a... well... an ok year. Really, being out of Chicago and learning how to actually have a work ethic, and then dealing with the maddening bureaucracy of Columbia was frustrating. Living away from my Best Girl was even more so, but things have gone well, I suppose.

I'm not really one to have new years resolutions, so I'm not gonna promise I'm going to blog more (although I will try). Also, I'm going to be working my ass off, so don't expect anything.

But now, onto the reason we're all here, FOOTBALL!!!!!!

I figured with the regular season over, I might as well wrap up with seeing how my predictions matched up to real life... and I can tell you, I did not do as well as my first half 6-2 record.

My Predictions:
@Buffalo- L
@Dallas- L
@NE- L
Chicago- L
Green Bay- L
@Tampa- W
@Miami- W
Minnesota- L

What Actually Happened:
@Buffalo- L
@Dallas- L
@NE- L
Chicago- L
Green Bay- W
@Tampa- W
@Miami- W
Minnesota- W

Huh... I actually didn't do that bad. Although, if someone had told me the Lions would end with a 4-game winning streak I would have told them drugs are bad and they make you say hurtful things. However, that puts my prediction record at 12-4, which I say isn't damn bad. Not to mention the Lions finished 6-10, Like I thought they would. I think that record should get me into the playoffs. So, I SHALL PREDICT!

Round 1:
Saints v. Seahawks
Yea, the Seahawks are the only team in the post-season with a losing record and the Saints are the defending superbowl champs. This one is easy.
Win: Saints

Colts v. Jets
Well, I do enjoy the jets. Not only do they have U-M Alumni Braylon Edwards, but I just think they're going to be a good team. That said, Payton Manning is well... shit, betting against him is like betting on a Ford Fusion to beat out a Ferrari.
Win: Colts

Ravens v. Chiefs
I think this is a pretty even match. KC has a more prolific offense, and B-more has a very stout defense. Of course, when it comes to these sort of games, defense almost always wins.
Win: Ravens

Packers v. Eagles
Say what you will about Micheal Vick, he's one hell of a football player, and that's what we pay him to do. I don't think the Packers have a chance.
Win: Eagles

Teams on bye: Falcons, Bears, Pats, Steelers

Round 2
Now, here is where it gets tricky, because I don't know exactly how the playoff system works in the NFL, so this is just gonna be a guess as to who would play who.

Falcons v. Saints
This looks to be a good matchup. Atlanta is a damn good team, but they lack alot of playoff experience. I think if New Orleans stays healthy, we can have an upset right here.
Win: Saints

Bears v. Colts
Well, While Indy is experienced, and good, I think the Bears defense is one of the few units that can stop the Colts.
Win: Bears

Patriots v. Ravens
The Ravens are another team I really enjoy. Hell, I really like Defense-based Grind-you-offense-to-a-halt teams. However, The Patriots are just too damn good, I mean, it's ridiculous the amount of stuff Tom Brady and Co. can pull off.
Win: Patriots

Steelers v. Eagles
Another good match. I'm not really sure who would win this. This game will really all depend on what Vick can do to the Steelers, and if they can stop him.
Win: Eagles

Round 3
Saints v. Bears
I do love me some New Orleans Saints. Unfortunately, this is where their superbowl run will end. I know the Bears are a better team.
Win: Bears

Patriots v. Eagles
Well, as much as I'd love to see the Eagles overcome the Patriots, again, they are just too freakin' good sometimes.
Win: Patriots

Patriots v. Bears
I am moving to Chicago. I am going to be living in Chicago. My girlfriend and some of my very good friends live in Chicago. Undoubtedly they will mostly be rooting for the Bears, and they're hopes and dreams will be dashed on Tom Brady's helmet as the Pats go on to yet another Superbowl championship.
Win: Patriots