A Random Fact That Is Totally And Absolutely True, Number 10

Today, the International Whale Peace Treaty was broken when a Narwhal stabbed a beluga whale off the coast of Malaysia. The Union of Whales is currently meeting and decided how to react to this violence.

On Reaching the Age of 21

I have found that, it is exactly the same as age 20, except I am allowed to legally imbibe alcohol, which while that would make a huge difference for most, makes very little for me. But, I do thank my parents for allowing my to survive this far, and not taking the shotgun I know they have hidden somewhere and taking me for a long drive through the woods.

A Random Fact That Is Totally And Absolutely True, Number 9

Snow is actually God scratching his head and having his dandruff fall to the earth.

A day of Thanks

So, It is thanksgiving. And, aside from the whole "yay we didn't die" theme (which is pretty common in the jewish religion anyway), we are supposed to be giving thanks for things. So, I probably should thank people/things. However, there are way too many people to thank between this and last year. The amount of good I have received from people is astounding. So, in lieu of forgetting people, I think I'll simply say:

Thank you

A Random Fact That Is Totally And Absolutely True, Number 8

Gravity isn't real. It's all in your head.

Half way there

So, being as the Lions have just played they're 8th game of the season, I thought I'd look back and see how my predictions were doing (because lets face it, I care more about that than the actual team.

My Predictions:
@Bears- W
Philly- L
@Minnesota- L
@Green Bay- L
St. Louis- W
@Giants- L
Washington- W
N.Y. Jets- W

What's Actually happened:
@Bears- L 14-19
Philly- L 32-35
@Minnesota- L 10-24
@Green Bay- L 26-28
St. Louis- W 44-6
@Giants- L 20-28
Washington- W 37-25
N.Y. Jets- L 20-23

My Record: 6-2.

Huh, so for the first half of the season I've been pretty accurate, my only wrong ones were the bears (where they should have won but got gypped on a bad call) and this sunday's game against the Jets. Of course, now with Stafford injured (for the Second time this season), It's really going to be a crap shoot. Hill is a good quarterback, but unless Stafford can toughen up, we're going to need a new starter.

A Random Fact That Is Totally And Absolutely True, Number 7

There once was a man from Nantucket, which is pretty normal, even given the sparse population of the area. What's so special about him? He invented a flying pig to get his car back from his friend.

Listenin' to the Radio

So, as I was driving home from work today I heard and interesting add on the radio. It was for a company that you can pay to have drive you home from the bar. They literally have people to be you and your buddies DD (Designated Driver) so no one had to be screwed out of the fun. As I was thinking about this, I realized something:

You have no excuse.

There is absolutely no more god damn excuse to be driving drunk, there are people out there that will make sure you don't. There are now services one can purchase to make sure that they don't getin trouble/get anyone killed. Anyone who still chooses to drink and drive has no more excuse.

And that made me realize that, despite all this people still will, and get caught, and bitch about how the rules are unfair and punishments shouldn't be so harsh and all that other crap. and if anyone's ever bitching to me, I'll just have to bring that up and say, "You no longer have an excuse, it's too easy to find a way around drinking and driving."

And that's that.

A Random Fact That Is Totally And Absolutely True, Number 6

The average Kenyen can run a 10k Marathon in 15 minutes, the only reason they take so long in the olympics is so they don't embarass the other athletes.

Ah, crap

Another random break, more life, more insanity... I won't bore you with the details. I will say I just got back from a lovely four day vacation though, and I am quite ready to do that again soon.

with that, I will say something small, on the subject of Keynsian economics. That's the general economic policy that you and I live under. It's kind of ridiculous, I'm beginning to understand. It's essential that we as a culture expect (and have expected since the 1930's) the government to step in every time there is an economic problem.

Why do I find this ridiculous? Well, mostly because I think the government is full of shit, and now to learn that our entire economic theory is based of the government helping us whenever shit goes down (sometimes shit caused by said government), I'm just kinda stupified. Of course, there is still alot for me to learn, and maybe I will understand in time, but right now I just find it ridiculous.

More to come on what I feel are some of the effects of this later, now, more Detroit 187.

So...

I've been wanting to do some long, thought out post about a pressing issue of our day... but unfortunately it's election season, so the issues are taking a back seat to political rhetoric and stupid damned political ads. With that said, I would like to propose that a new law be passed:

Any politician who wishes to air an add, or any organization who wishes to air an ad on behalf of a candidate, must, upon completion of the ad, sit through said ad on repeat for at least an hour. If the candidate or organization can still, without a doubt, say that they would watch the ad again, the ad can be aired, once having gone through a judge.

It's either that, or a pound of flesh for each advertisement.

On Rap Music

Dear Rap Music,
You do realize that half of the lyrical basis of your songs began in the 70's, based off of the lyrics written by a overtly homosexual arab man, don't you? 'Cause if you don't you'd be a bunch of ignorant... oh yea... never mind.

Freddie M, the original gansta.

A Random Fact That Is Tottaly And Absolutely True, Number 5

Once, Abraham Lincoln, Jesus, Ghandi, Mohammed and Moses all got together at a bar. This was known as the beginning of the best bar fight ever.

Apologies and Football

So, Life is crazy and causing me not to post... cause my mind isn't functioning. I apologize.

On the plus side, I'm posing now, specifically about football, even more specifically about the Detroit Lions, and how I think they'll play this season and what they're record will end up looking like (and trust me, they ain't makin' the playoffs.). I would also like to say that my predictions will be biased towards Detroit, giving them as much of the benefit of the doubt as I can.So, with that said, here we go:

Game 1: @Chicago
So, with all the pressure on Jay Cutler, and watching him fail (as I was living in Chicago at the time) makes me think that it's gonna be a repeat, particularly because I haven't heard of anything new coming out Chicago. This is a winnable game for the Lions... assuming they don't play like the same old Lions.
Win: Detroit (1-0)

Game 2: Philadelphia
Another Winnable game. This time with a better opposite receiving core, not to mention a quarterback who was lucky enough to study under Donovan Mcnabb. As much as I'd like to see the Lions win this one, our secondary is much too shaky, and there's no way it'll be any better in two games.
Win: Philly (1-1)

Game 3: @Minnesota
Two words: Brett Farve. I hate the man, and the Lions can't beat him. As long as he's with the Vikes (Or playing for that matter), the Lions lose.
Win: Brett Farve (And the Minnesota Vikings) (1-2)

Game 4: @Green Bay
So, Without good ol' Brett, the cheese-heads have managed to find a quarterback who's just as good. With a strong recieving core and a decent defense, I really can't see the Lions taking this one.
Win: Packers (1-3)

Game 5: St. Louis
The only team that was worse than the Lions last year. If we can't win this game, well, there's really no point in us having a football team... of course, maybe I shouldn't say that considering we just went 0-16... well crap. Ok, the Lions should win this one, period.
Win: Lions (2-3)

Game 6: @New York Giants
Another good team. A playoff caliber team with a playoff caliber quarterback. The Lions can't seem to catch a break. However, this is just the kind of game that the Lions would win sheerly due to the irony of the football gods. This is either going to be a slaughter or a lucky win.
Win: NY (2-4)

Game 7: Washington
Well, now they have a good QB. I can't say much for the rest of the team, but I know it's been a bit since they've been to the playoffs. If the Lions catch a break, Mcnabb will still be having trouble adjusting to the offense, and they can have a decent day.
Win: Lions (3-4)

Game 8: NY Jets
Now Detroit welcomes the black sheep of last years playoff race. However, there's a good chance (at this point in the preseason) that they'll be losing their star CB. This is just looking to be a Shootout between two Sophomore quarterbacks, both of whom have promising futures.
Win: Lions (Just barely though) (4-4)

Game 9: @Buffalo
Yet another game the Lions could win. We managed in the preseason... after going down 16-0, but who doesn't like a good comeback right? Well, this is a game the lions should win... which is why they will probably lose.
Win: Buffalo (4-5)

Game 10: @Dallas
Yea... so a perennially good club, even if they do choke when it comes to the playoffs. I'm not gonna lie, there's a better chance Barry Sanders will come out of retirement.
Win: Dallas (4-6)

Game 11: New England
Ooooh! yet another Thanksgiving classic. That is, a classic trouncing by U-M grad Tom Brady. I really don't understand why they let the Lions play on thanksgiving, there's much more interesting teams to watch as you slip into a food coma.
Win: New England (4-7)

Game 12: Chicago
This time, Chicago is coming to us. Another winnable game, yet if I'm right about game 1 of the season, I can imagine the Bears coming to look for revenge, and if Cutler actually manages to be everything Chicago needs him to be, well there's a good chance it's going to be a long day for the blue and silver.
Win: Da Bears (4-8)

Game 13: Green Bay
Well... at least we're not away. Lord knows Lambeau at this time of year is a death trap for any other team that's not dressed in bright green. However, even in the friendly confines of Ford Field, Green Bay is still good, and the Lions are still the Lions, even if they are improving.
Win: GB (4-9)

Game 14: @Tampa Bay
Finally, A game the Lions actually have a chance at winning. Tampa Bay hasn't been the same since winning the Superbowl years and years ago. I think this will be a prime chance for the Lions to take advantage of a team that isn't as good as they should be.
Win: Lions (5-9)

Game 15: @Miami
This could really go either way. Chad Henne (another U-M grad) is a good quarterback. At the same time, Miami's vaunted "Wildcat" offense was severely underwhelming last year if Detroit's going to win one last game, it's going to be here.
Win: Lions (6-9)

Game 16: Minnesota
Hahahahaha... ah, there's no way, just no way.
Win: Minnesota (6-10)

There ya go, 6-10... I think that's about the bast the Lions can do... I mean... I'd love to be a little more confidant, but I'm not an idiot, or a Cubs fan.

A Random Fact That Is Tottaly And Absolutely True, Number 4

If Jesus and Moses ever met in a bar, Jesus would tell Moses to go fuck himself for being an angry drunk, and Moses would tell him to shut up because he's a lame duck.

A Random Fact That Is Tottaly And Absolutely True, Number 3

One day, A small being will come down from the thirteenth tree in Mossaqua Park, MI and when this day comes, the world will turn into a giant fish and swim into the universe.

A Random Fact That Is Tottaly And Absolutely True, Number 2

Pickles are actually the evil brothers of Cucumbers and are constantly plotting to overthrow them from their place as head the vegetable/fruit alliance.

The Eventual Slide Into Lameness

So, I was thinking the other day. When the current young generation gets older, things that we think are cool are going to be lame, because that's what always happens. The things our parents did were lame, the things their parents did were lame (and so on and so forth...), and the things we do, to our kids, are going to be lame. This includes tattoos and piercings.

I mean, we think it's so cool to get all this different stuff on our bodies, and it really can be, but the more of our generation that does this, the less the next will, because it will be really really uncool. There will of course be those kids that look upon their parents generation as cool, but they never have any friends anyway, so they don't really count.

But... I mean, it's just weird to think that all the things we think are cool and edgy today, are going to be lame and soft in a few short years. Of course, by then, who knows... maybe people will be rearranging body parts, as my father likes to think will happen.

A Random Fact That Is Totally And Absolutely True Number 1

So, this is a new thing that I'm hoping will get me publishing something at least once a week. It's where I say something that is Totally and Absolutely True, no matter what you might think. So, here's the first fact:

The whales are slowly plotting to take the last remaining smallpox virus to kill their enemies, the chipmunks.

An Article on Soccer (and quite possible, life).

This is an article written by some guy on Yahoo. I can't really say I know who he is, I imagine he's a sportswriter for somewhere and people read and like him. I think however, he makes an interesting point.

South Africa – Soccer’s superstar players never materialized here at the World Cup. The game’s best – Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo, Kaka, Wayne Rooney, etc. – often failed to lift their play and, in turn, their teams, to a level this grand stage demands.

The conventional wisdom on why: They were too selfish, unable to adapt to the team concept of a national squad.

Then there’s Diego Maradona’s take: Unlike the past, the stars weren’t selfish enough.

Interesting eh? We in America are so used to our whiny, overpaid, over-advertised football/basketball/baseball/hockey stars, who get pissy if they make less than 25 million dollars a year. Yet, the writer makes a point, that those stars we're paying absolutely too much money, we expect them to be great. We expect them to so awesome it almost hurts, so awesome we can only dream of being them, being that talented and good. This is not to say that I don't think they could learn some humility, but as long as they're gonna be selfish assholes, they better be good at what they do.

As the article goes on however, more life examples are given, doctors, pilots, soldiers... All these people we expect to be at there best, adn because of that, they make more money. There are alot of people in the world who think it's unfair, they think that everyone should make the same amount, be the same, be "equal". But as this article argues, maybe we're not equal, maybe you're better at soccer than me, maybe I'm better than you, but if one of us gonna get paid big bucks to play, we better be playing our best. I mean, can you imagine if doctors weren't expected to be the best, so as not to hurt anyone else's feelings? I'd be willing to bet there's be alot more dead people and alot less medicine.

Why?

Why is it that people who have handicap license plates or signs feel that they have the right to drive and park like complete assholes? One day I'm just goign to go up to one of them and say "Just because you're injured, doesn't mean you can be an ass while driving." But, I suppose that would be considered insensitive. Eh, fuck 'em.

June

Has been one insane month. I have had almost no time to blog. I've actually been working on multiple posts, but I have not had time to finish. Boo.

Why I'm a Libertarian.

So, since about 1st grade i've been aware of politics. I say 1st grade because that was the year Clinton was running for re-election against... eh, i don't remember his name anymore. I remember liking Clinton much better than the other guy, and in our little class poll, voting for him.

In growing older, I came to learn more about politics. Seeing as I was in middle school and I grew up in a particularly liberal town, I was an ardent democrat, though for no other reason than it was what everyone was, including my parents. I remember the 2000 election, and being so angry that more people wanted Al Gore to be president, but because of the electoral college, Bush (whom I should state now I still don't like and don't think should have ever been given the power we gave him) won.

I remember talking with my friend about how the electoral college should be demolished in favor of the popular vote. Despite learning about how the popular vote is just a 51% majority ruling over the other 49%. All this going into the 2004 election year, wait and hoping and praying that Kerry would finally take the idiot out of office, and was sorely disappointed when nothing if the sort.

All this leading up to the year of 2008. This was my senior year in high school. That year I took an ethics class with a teacher named Bill James. Bill James himself was a Libertarian, and during our seemingly endless class discussions, he would question all of us as to what we thought was right. While I can't say at the time I agreed with everything he said, it got me thinking.

So, from then on I did a lot of thinking, particularly about political things. I also did some reading, mostly online columns and some books. I really began to look at what the government was doing and how it was effecting the people who lived under it. I began to notice just how much control it had over the individuals life, and how, most of the time, it just tended to fuck things up.

As the year passed on, I began to realize more and more that the government had no place in my personal life, and that it really needed to stop taking away the money I was working so hard for (well, alright, i'll admit at the time my job as a receptionist was anything but difficult, but I still wanted all the money I was supposed to be paid). It also didn't help that I began to attend college at Columbia College Chicago, an arts school in the heart of Chicago that was so very Liberal it's borderline Socialist (and there is a thriving socialist community in the school).

These factors lead me to where I am now. I think that the federal government needs to get it's ass out of almost everything. whether it's gay rights or guns, abortion or religion, the federal government just shouldn't be there. It's all about freedom. I have the freedom to own a gun. I have the freedom to be gay. I have the freedom to open up any business I want, get as big as I want, and make as much money as I want, and the government should sit down, shut up and let me do what I'm going to do, because in all reality, it's probably better for the country than any damn regulation that those assholes can come up with.

So yes, I'm a Libertarian. I believe in freedom, period. As long as you don't physically hurt anyone else, you can do whatever the hell you want.

To put it in perspective, I believe in very Conservative economic practices, that the government needs to deregulate the entire economy, because regulations only cause more harm than the situations they are meant to help. I also believe in a very Liberal social practice, that the government needs to butt out about who I want to marry, what religion I want to be, and what I want to do to my own body. It sounds greedy and selfish, and maybe it is, but it's the way i think it should be, because I'm not going to get on anyone else for doing things to themselves, as long as they don't get on me.

I guess it all comes down to freedom. I believe in it. People are stupid, and that sucks, but people are much stupider in big groups that get to control other people. I'm sorry, but I don't want anyone controlling my life but me, and yes, sometimes I make mistakes, on occasion big ones, but I'm held responsible, only me.

That's another part of it, I suppose, personal responsibility, me being responsible for me, and no one else. But, that might be for another day.

Anyway, that is how and why I am a Libertarian, and whether you agree or disagree, you're allowed, because you have the freedom to.

On the Oil Spill

So, I'd like to talk about the giant oil leak out in the ocean right now. it's still pumping, gallons and gallons of oil, and the, well... it really fucking sucks. Lord knows what it's going to do to the ecosystems, and eventually our water supply.

Right now there's a lot of blame going around, mostly on BP, and yes, they are at fault. It's their responsibility to make sure that shit doesn't happen, and if it does, to make sure there's a way to fix it as quickly as possible, and they've seriously fucked up. In all reality, I don't know that I could fill up at a BP station knowing their company is run this way. I also know that a lot of Americans are feeling the same way, and the longer this goes on, the more I see a future where BP is no longer a company. However (yes, there is a however) the oil Company isn't entirely to blame

Yep, that's right, it's not all BP's fault. They're still responsible for fixing this mess, for better or worse, but this accident was caused by a number of factors, some of which were out of control of the BP company. There are two other large factions to blame, the environmental movement, and the federal government. Both for the same reasons.

They are both responsible for this accident because they are both against drilling in ANWAR (That's right, just when you thought that shit was over). Very simply, the feds and the hippys both decided that drilling in Alaska was bad because it was just going to mess up all sorts of shit and just kill everything there. In fact, many of them would argue that this leak is exactly what they are protecting ANWAR from, and that we should be glad that it happened out at sea, and not in Alaska.

That's a bunch of shit. In reality, were this leak happening on land, it would be plugged and cleaned up already. Wanna know why? CAUSE THERE'S NOT A MILE OF OCEAN WATER ON TOP OF A PIPE IN ALASKA! I know it seems simple, but it's true. Remember when you were a kid and you'd swim head first underwater, and when you started getting in deeper (around 6+ feet) your ears would start to pop. That was the pressure of the water, no imagine that times about 1,000... yea, it's kind of a bitch to get anything down there. And yet somehow it's safer to drill out there than on land, where oil moves slower (it being in liquid state and therefore traveling easier through water) and is easier to fix.

And speaking of that mile of water, that's another thing those assholes fucked up, by banning offshore drilling. Because if this was offshore, say in about 500-600 feet of water (instead of 5,280) and it would still be thousands of times easier to fix instead of the debacle we're currently in.

And this is both the fault of the environmentalists and the federal government because the former lobbied for these laws and the latter passed them.

Happiness (As well as the furtherment of my political views)

So, My lovely girlfriend has moved to Michigan for the summer, I am quite happy. She's living about 5-10 minutes walking distance away from me, which makes me even happier. I know things have been a little tough for her getting here, finding a job, arguing with her parents over things, not to mention planning, but I am really just happy she's here, like stupidly happy. That's really all I can say about it.

On another note, I got my federal tax refund, it was about 35+ dollars short. It came with a nice little letter saying that my refund was "different" (not lower, different) and that i would be told why in a few weeks. Fuck you federal government, fuck you.

That is all.

UPDATE: Evidentally had got the letter before the check, filled out my tax forms wrong, except I'm pretty sure I didn't, looking at the math I did. So, the Feds can go fuck themselves, I'm robbing the IRS of $37.32 as soon as i can get the materials together. who's in?

It's Mothers Day!

And because it is, I will link you ot my mother's newly created blog.

A day in a life with Mamma O

Enjoy, love you mom.

Restaurant Etiquette

So... Having worked in the restaurant business for a bit now, i've noticed a few things. First and foremost, people are gross, and can be particularly wasteful of food sometimes (which bugs me cause by the middle of a shit i could usually go for some food). I've also noticed that a fair portion of people don't quite understand how the restaurant industry functions or how to be a good patron. Luckily, I know how much my blog is read, and so for all you millions of millions (or slightly less) I will give a few general rules of Restaurant Etiquette.

1. 20% is the normal amount to tip
Yes, that's right, 20% of your bill is normal. Not 1o, not 15, 20. What you need to understand is a majority of the money these people make is based on that tip you give them. the base pay for a server is a little over $2.50, so it matters greatly what you tip. The general attitude is you start at 20%, if your service is excellent, if your service is bad (and i mean BAD) then lessen it. But if you're leaving 10% tips every time, your just an asshole, or broke.

2. Patience is a virtue
This is something to remember when the place you are dining is particularly busy. When it's busy, things are going to take a little longer to get done. Don't bitch at your server simply because you've been sitting for 5 minutes and they haven't gotten to you. They're probably swamped with 5-6 other tables including you, and are trying to get them all what they need. Feel free to do what you can to expedite the process, if you have the time to look, order food with your drinks, or at least appetizers (yes, people order drinks separately sometimes). Just be patient and remember that they are humans too.

3. Closing time (you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.)
If the restaurant is closing and you're still there, pick up the pace a little bit. They servers, bussers, kitchen staff and managers all have shit to do to get the place closed up so they can go home. If you're there 15 minutes after and getting ready to go, don't feel too bad, however, if you're just sitting there shooting the breeze and it's more than 20 minutes after, go somewhere else. People have things to get done and you're just getting in the way.

4. 20% is standard tipping!
Yep, again. People need to understand, 20% is what you need to be tipping on average, these people live off your tips and they need you to tip like this. Unless your service is really bad, you should be tipping 20%!

That's pretty much it. There's not much else for me to say. Just be good patrons and you're server will be good to you, especially when you come back for a second round.

Crazy Life

So yea... I now officially have two jobs (YAY!) and I am starting at Oakland Community College in July. This summer is... well, it's going to be hectic, I don't quite know how I'm gonna do, but I'm hoping for good things.

Regardless, I'm excited because my love will be moving up to Ferndale soon, and this excites me. I'm glad she is, because it get's lonely up here without her. I only hope she'll find what she's looking for up here, because that's really what's important.

So, really that's about it, no truly deep thoughts today. I think i'm goign to tlak about soemthing next time though, probably the importance of kittens to the global economic crisis... or something else I could write a thesis on. eh, who knows.

On pity

First, I would like to start this post with a big fuck you to Matt. Now onto the post.

So, I've been thinking about people and unemployment and all that. Only a couple months ago, I was unemployed, wanting someone to hire me, and getting very angry at the setting around me. After coming back to michigan, finding a job, and now, looking for a second (and with an interview today, I'm quite excited) I'm thinking that people are just full of shit.

I mean, I'll admit, bus boy isn't exactly a stellar, six figure job, but it's job, and in all reality, it's a livable job. I'm finding that people are kinda just full of it. So many of my friends are unemployed and sit and bitch about. Many people I know are unemployed and sit and bitch about it. I'm sick of the sitting and bitching. I mean, I managed to find a job, relatively quickly, and while the second has been longer coming, I'll admit I haven't been looking as hard (partially due to having a first job and other responsibilities). I just cannot pity or feel for those who don't look.

When I first got home I spent everyday, save Sunday, applying for, looking for and walking around cities asking for a job. It was essentially a job. I spent my days looking fro a job until I found one. And I had to sit and wait for 45 minutes before a manager finally got to me. I just think people are so used to being handed things, that they don't realize finding a job is a bitch and a half. If you're not willing to devote a ton of time to finding one, you're not going to find one.

It's very simple, one would think that people would realize it, but then again, there's alot of things people don't realize. So, I'm sick of people complaining that they're unemployed, whilst I hang out with them at three in the afternoon. If you're sick of it, go look for a job, and don't see me before 5pm until you do, shut up and do it.

Yea...

So, I need to blog more, i have a lot of ideas and such, i just never write about them. So i think I shall. Look out world, I'm back!

I'm Annoyed

So... firstoff I'd like to apologize to my fan-base for not posting in such a long time.

Secondoff, I would like to state my displeasure at the fact that I am back in michigan, and in being back in michigan, for approximately two weeks, I am probably getting a job. I spent 3 months in Chicago jobless, looking for one, and could not find one. Yet two weeks in michigan, and i've almost got one.

Now, there was school, which made it more difficult for me to job hunt given that I was busy during the prime hours of the day, but still, I'm in michigan. 50th economically... OUT OF 50!

I mean, what the fuck? Isn't this supposed to be some sort of black hole of jobs, where people are constantly losing them and moving out to somewhere else (like chicago) that actually has employment? Seriously, what the hell?

I don't understand, but all I have to say is that, when I return to Chicago, there better be a fucking job there, or so help me god I'm calling up the Government and telling them to greatly reassess the whole jobless thing.